Head Growth

Source: BBC News

George notices an unusual growth, taking the form of two people, emerging from the back of his head. His doctor tells him it is treatable, and gives him a lolly for being such a good patient.

Worry

Source: The Mirror

George goes out for a lovely day at the park. However, his enjoyment is marred when a starling makes an unkind remark about his tie. The bird goes away, but George spends the rest of the day in fear.

Boxing one's ears

Source: Find a Property

George is quick to defend the honour of a lady. Tragically, it turns out the lady is Ed Miliband, and George's political reputation is left in shreds when he assaults the Prime Minister in defence of his political rivals.

Shadow Puppets

Source: The Mirror

George is suddenly shocked when the cleaning lady turns on a lamp. He likes to sit in the dark and contemplate where it all went wrong. He blames Sophocles.

Pat on the Back

Source: UK Uncut

George is congratulated by his parliamentary friends after coming fourth in a game of Monopoly. He does not know they went easy on him. George wishes he had invested more in utilities and railroads.

Shirtsleeves

Source: The Sun

George wears a waistcoat on top of his suit jacket. The ghosts of a thousand Etonians haunt him all day, and ruin his supper.

The Working Man

Source: The Daily Mail

George is shocked to discover that technology makes his car move. He always thought teams of slaves lived underneath, carrying his car to exciting destinations. George is upset there is no magic left in the world.

Action Man

Source: The Mirror

George enjoys a skiing holiday with his family. He isn't very good, and when he falls, a man called Ian laughs at him. It makes him sad.

Tripping the Light Fantastic

Source: The Mirror

George is in a white room. He has a big shadow, and this scares him temporarily. However, he quickly recovers and gets on with his day. In later life, he remembers this incident with shame.

Old-fashioned values

George on the left.
Source: The Daily Mail

George plays a game with his family. He isn't doing very well, and is losing all his money. He hopes he will be better with money when he grows up.

It wasn't me...

Souce: Daily Mail

There is an unpleasant odour in the room. Despite knowing it is his fault, George attempts to shift the blame. He is caught out, and sent to jail.

Guess who just got raptured?

Source: The Daily Mail

George explains to his beloved Grandmother that he's somehow going to Heaven and she isn't. He is racked with guilt.

One more thing...

Source: Daily Echo

George makes a cunning point, defeating his political rivals. However, he is still empty inside.

The follies of youth

Source: Youth Parliament forums

Young George, unaware of the crushing disappointments that lie ahead. He only wants to sell socks.

Back to back, they faced each other...

Source: The Guardian

Realizing his life is pointless, George makes a crime fighting team. Things do not go well.

Little and Large

Source: BBC

George is struck by an incurable shrinking disease. Eventually, he becomes very small, and a sparrow picks him up. He is never seen again.

Bestest Buds

Source: The Daily Mail

Secretly, David hates George. He resents him for always coming round to his house unannounced. George likes to bring houseplants. David hates houseplants.

Suave

Source: The Daily Mail

George is happy with his new suit, but constantly fiddles with his sleeves. His mother always warned him not to.

Villain

Source: Infowars Ireland

Secretly, George always wanted to be a James Bond style villain. However, he sadly lacks the third nipple that would enable him to become a world-class assassin.

Wotsit

Source: Conservative Home

George attempts to understand the plight of his sunbed-obsessed constituents. Tragedy ensues.

Bond

Source: The Daily Mail

George secretly dreams he is a spy. In real life, he cannot tie a bow tie however. He must hire a man called Andrew to do this for him. George worries Andrew steals his socks at night.

Some might say this is where he belongs...

Source: The Telegraph

George is imprisoned for conning old ladies out of their pensions. But there's nothing funny about this. Tee hee.

Happy Scamp

Source: The Daily Mail

George received an e-mail from A Mr. Kiown, informing him of a lucrative business proposition. After giving the businessman his bank details, George eagerly awaits the arrival of this $8million.

Up There

Source: London Evening Standard

George sees a crow in a nearby tree. He is later disappointed when no-one shows an interest in the bird, as he has not realized they are very common. 

Sexual Tension

Source: The BBC

George has a man-crush. These feelings are unrequited. He has a breakdown and buys a small terrier. The terrier does not take to George either.

Kubrick

Photograph: Stefan Wermuth/REUTERS
Source: The Guardian

George perfects his Kubrick stare before meeting the noted director at a film convention. However, Stanley is very busy and does not notice George. George is sad, but later gets his autograph book signed by Mr. Kubrick. When he gets home, he finds out Kubrick died over a decade ago, and he has been conned.

George Wants YOU!

Photograph: Kevin Coombs/Reuters
Source: The Guardian

Gripped by a typical Conservative wave of nostalgia, George attempts to recreated World War 1 in his back garden. He has the groundskeepers shoot each other, but eventually, he falls in some mud and gets upset. 

Thirsty Work

Source: The Mirror

George finds giving speeches to be very thirsty work. Unfortunately, he mistakes a large glass of vodka for his glass of water and becomes inebriated. He embarrasses himself while waiting for a bus.

Kiss Me Quick

Source: The Mirror

George, wearing his new tie, puckers up. No-one kisses him. He is left downhearted, but takes cheer from a news story about a brave cat.

A bad smell

Photograph: Oli Scarff/Getty Images
Source: The Guardian

Arriving at the important cabinet meeting, George realizes an unpleasant odour is following him around. He suspects he has stepped in something unpleasant, but has no time to check.

Mr. Bean

Source: The Questioning Vole

George wishes he was Mr. Bean. He envies his easy lifestyle, and teddybear.